First tooth!

Well, Ginger defied the odds and pushed through her first tooth on top, instead of the usual bottoms that come in first. We were playing her favorite game of hang upside down, and there it was finally poking through. 8 months, 6 days old. 9/19/09. We're so proud of her :)

It's on her top left, may be a little hard to see in this pic, but trust me- it's through. Right in time for Halloween- can't wait to see her grin with a tooth!

Fenugreek!

We celebrated Ginger's 8 month birthday earlier this week, on 9/13, I am in SHOCK that in just 4 more short months, I will have a 1 year old. Crazy! Having returned to work a few weeks ago, I knew it was inevitable that my milk supply would dwindle, even with pumping. It's just not the same as breastfeeding her 5-6 times a day. So I've been stressing a bit trying to figure out what to do. Do I try to pump more often? Do I begin supplementing with formula? Will that give her gas? Do I quit? Is it more of a pain to continue for 4 months, or will it be a pain if I start supplementing with formula, only to make another change to regular whole milk in a few months?

All of this stress ended up causing me to produce less milk, so I did some research and found that there is an herb (in pill form) called fenugreek that is supposed to naturally enhance mommy's milk production. I really didn't believe that it would work- but I gave it a shot. I've been taking it for 3 days now, and WOW when they say it works within 24-72 hours, it's REALLY true. I am back to producing enough to put Ginger within range of what she needs daily. So I thought I would post this for a few reasons- one, because I want a reminder when we're on our second child that this is what I did, LOL! Second, who knows who reads my blogs but if there is someone who could benefit from reading that it works, then great.

Something I thought was funny is that I read that Fenugreek is used in developing countries to create an artificial maple syrup. When I read more about it, I learned that taking the recommended dose can make your oil glands output a kind of maple syrup smell. And it totally does. I dream of pancakes all day, LOL. I also read that sometimes, your baby can end up smelling like maple syrup too. We haven't experienced that yet, but hey it could be much worse than the smell of syrup. It's kinda one of my favorite smells so I'll take it if I don't have to make the change for now!

First "real" week on the job...

I guess you could consider my first real week on the job complete, although I haven't been thrown in the fire. I have an extended training plan over the next month and a half that allows me the time to really learn the in's and out's of the culture and organization, which has been great mentally, given that my mind is still holding onto Ginger and what she's doing, how she's eating, if she's taking her naps,etc.

The people have been great, I must admit. I am surrounded by moms and dads with young children, so every time someone new comes in my office, they are immediately drawn to Ginger's photo collage. It's a great icebreaker, talking about your children- everyone seems to "get it" that despite being incredibly driven and committed, our lives are really all about our kids.

Pumping has been....interesting. I am able now to pump in my own office, which has no windows or glass so it's completely private. But it's still quite a commitment to get 1/2 undressed, set everything up, feel like a milking cow for 15 minutes, and then clean everything up. This happens twice a day, and part of me dreads it, part of me loves it(because I get to stare at Ginger's photo collage for 15 minutes and focus on my love for her) and part of me is proud that I'm so committed to getting her to 1 year and then transitioning straight to whole milk. But I do sometimes wonder about the day when someone knocks on my door, and I'll have to not answer, and then worry that they'll walk away wondering why I was so rude to not answer the door. I haven't really announced to the entire office (hundreds of people) that I'm pumping, so they'll just have to be confused and/or offended for a few months. This hasn't happened yet, so I'm always crossing my fingers that nobody will need me for the 20 minutes this whole process takes, twice a day.

Routine has started to set in, and I find it really interesting how my attitude about work has changed. I have always been so driven and usually at the top of the performance charts, which to a degree I still feel committed to, but I am also completely comfortable knowing that I'm not as desperate to be #1 as I once was. I just want to be really good at what I do. That's enough for me.

I sometimes wonder if it would have been easier or harder to have left Ginger at the traditional 3 months, vs. after 7 1/2 months. I've concluded that I would have probably lost it a whole lot more at 3 months, but it's still hard. At mid-week this week, a tiny thought crept into my mind- "Is this all worth it?" Of course, we don't have a choice- we are dependant on my salary, but there are still plenty of moments filled with wishes that somehow, it could be different. I'm sure every working mom can relate on this one, and that actually makes me feel better reminding myself of this, as it's not unique and just part of the challenge of working outside of the home. Don't get me wrong- this new opportunity is THE perfect fit for me, in fact I've said more than a few times that if I could have written what my returning to work would look like, it would be this. Exactly. But my heart still hurts a little bit.

The good news is that soon enough, once I've gotten through training, built relationships with the key players, and demonstrated that I know what I'm doing, I will begin working from home at least 2-3 times a week. It looks like Mondays and Thursdays will be office days, but Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday I will be able to work from home. I still don't know how that will work out with Ginger- if I'll be able to flex my schedule, if it will prove difficult to work from home with her here (with a nanny, of course), or if it can be managed. But I still look forward to that flexibility.

All in all, I would call this week a success. I've met some fantastic people, and can tell that I'm really going to be valued within the organization. That's a good feeling, all things considered.

Minneapolis adventure

We survived! And thrived, I might add...Ginger, Grammy, Opa, and I all traveled out to Minneapolis for my first week on the new job, and I have to say that it went even better than I could have ever dreamed.

The flight out was a cinch- Ginger slept on the way out to Denver, and then played on the 2nd leg to Minneapolis. It was nice to have two extra sets of hands to help with all of the luggage, toys, and baby, I must admit. When we arrived, we were excited to see how nice the set-up was at the hotel- it was a 2 bedroom suite with a full kitchen and living room, more than enough space for all of us.

Dad and I woke up Monday morning and got breakfast together, while Grammy and Ginger slept in together. The executive recruiter who took me along the hiring process met me in the lobby and we walked together the 5 blocks to the Target corporate center. Target actually takes up 5 seperate buildings in downtown Minneapolis- it is definitely Target town around there! I was led to the "lactation room" for moms, and was BLOWN away by the set up. I wished I had all of this at home- lockers, refrigerators, 10-12 seperate stalls with magazines, a place to put your baby's photo, electrical outlets, wipes, paper towels, kleenex- you name it. It was kind of funny walking in and hearing the "whoosh whoosh" sound of other moms breast pumps- but usually I was either alone, or just one other person in there, and always in the seperate stalls so the privacy was just awesome.

Target, I've decided, is where I needed to land for my first venture in returning to work. Every single person I met with was sharp, young, family focused, intelligent, and truly welcoming and glad to see me joining the team. My boss is FANTASTIC! He has a little baby boy only a month older than Ginger, and his wife also works at Target (and breastfeeds/pumps) so there was absolutely no awkwardness at all. We showed off our babies to each other, and he lit up when talking about his baby boy. We hit it off right away, and though I will report to him from CA, I can tell that it's going to be a great working relationship. His biggest concern for me is that I remember my priority is my family, and that work never trumphs my husband and baby. WOW is all I can say.

I spent the week really just going from meeting to meeting with various peers, and doing "GTK's". That stands for Get to Knows, so I told my career story about 50 times, but found it interesting to learn where others had come from. Many of them have been with Target for 10+ years, which is nice to see, as I'm hoping to plant my feet and stick around.

Everyone's advice for me is to "go slow now, to go fast later". Meaning just enjoy this time in training, absorb the Target culture, and despite wanting to jump right in, resist and just develop relationships. Most companies, especially in this economy, would have directed otherwise, so I can tell this is a long term investment on their part. One day, my boss's boss's boss (3 levels up) took the whole team out to lunch (about 20 people) and we laughed so much through the lunch that at times we were tearing up from all of the laughter. I fit like a glove with the team, and I feel really set up for success having come from Starbucks. I swear, you could just change the Target Red for Starbucks green and it is the same place. Overwhelming for some, but for me, it felt just like home.

I will admit that it was tough to leave Ginger every morning, but knowing she was in my parents hands made all the difference. I was more jealous that I didn't get to go on all of the fun adventures they had, vs. feeling sad and depressed that I wasn't with her. I would come home from work at night, and she would grin ear to ear and snuggle, hug, and want to be close with me right away. She slept well, ate well, and really adjusted just fine. As they say, it is more of a transition for Mom than child, and that proved true for us. Plus Ginger got to bond with Grammy and Opa, who have offered to watch her for another 2 months until my full time nanny (and friend) is available to watch Ginger. Which means I won't have to leave her with our next door neighbor, who is sweet and kind, but still a bit of a stranger to me. I couldn't be more thrilled.

All in all, it was a fabulous trip. I am happy to be home, enjoying my own bed, seeing Paul and Woody, and being lazy around the house this weekend. If you can believe it, I am actually looking forward now to work, though it will still be hard to leave her in the mornings. If I had any concerns about whether this was the right move, they were alieviated by my boss and Target's sharp focus on making sure everyone is family first. That means a lot to me as a new mom, and I can't wait to see what's in store for the next chapter...