Yep, I confess....

I am totally, completely, and utterly in love with our daughter. To the point where I post too many pics on FB, tell too many stories in conversation with coworkers, and dream about everything she does that is wonderful (and forget everything she does that is, well, not wonderful).

It's hard even to describe to people who do not have children what this experience is like. For those who do, most of them get it, but possibly have been worn over time with more challenges, obstacles, and multiple children. I can't even imagine every feeling that way, but maybe that happens? Who knows.

But for those without kids, I get a lot of half-smiles, where behind the smile they are questioning "is this girl looney?" when I gush about little Ginger Lauren.

The greatest feeling in the world, though, is not caring how the message is being recieved. Sure, I try to tailor who I'm talking to, but once you get me going I am not bashful in wearing my heart on my sleeve about my love for this beautiful little girl.

Today we tried on her Halloween costume to make sure it fit properly in anticipation of a few fun nights in the next few weeks. It fit like a charm (sized 12-24 months- don't know how this would fit a 12 month old, unless they were huge!) but she looks like a darling little ladybug princess. Ok, there I go again :) But to look at this pic and see how much she's grown in just 12 short months, it's pretty incredible. Paul and I have grown significantly during this time as well. What a journey this is!

31 weeks

Only 9 more weeks (or less!) to go- awho-hoo!!!!! We went to the doctor yesterday for a check-in, and everything is looking just fine these days. Dr. did an ultrasound and I was able to watch as this baby flipped and flopped, punched and kicked, and didn't sit still for a minute! Just like Ginger, doctor was amazed at how much movement was going on, in the visit alone she said some women don't get that all day long! I told her I rarely need to do kick counts because even before 10am I know she's awake, alert, and already given me way more than 10 punches/kicks :)

Dr. also said that baby was measuring a bit larger today than 31 weeks, at 5 lbs 4 oz. typically babies are around 4 lbs at this point, but she also pointed out that ultrasound estimates can be off sometimes as much at 2 lbs. I was also told with Ginger that she would be close to the 9 lb range and she was only 7 lbs 15 oz. so for now she didn't want me to worry. I'll be heading back for visits now every two weeks, my amnoitic fluids look great, everything she said is looking fantastic.

Unfortunately baby girl was moving so much that the ultrasound pic came out rather blurry and indistiguishable. But I scanned it here just to remember. I've also included a scan from the ultrasound 2 weeks ago where you can see baby's (BIG) brain and head front and center!

31 weeks- can't even really make it out, but there's a hand in there!


29 weeks, and that big ol' brain of hers :)

Now this is the kind of news I need to hear...

Well, all the results are in. While we will need to continue to monitor my progress and the situation, all of my labs came back either normal, or just mild at worst, so doc feels very good about these results. She reassured me today that the point of this escalation was for precautionary reasons, that she wants what's best for me and this baby, even if that means going overboard with precaution when there are any, any signs of need.

So I feel good about that. I know I'm in good hands. Her reassurance was helpful. Things could change in a moment's notice, so I am planning on taking it easy, reducing my overextended workload (trying to be the hero before taking my maternity leave, not the right thing to do I'm realizing now) and taking care of myself and this baby first. I have a great support system and I just need to remember that I can lean on them and not try to do everything myself!

Thanks for all of the prayer and encouragement to my faithful blog readers. I'll keep you all informed of how the next 10 weeks (or less?) plays out, I'm sure!

And to my baby girl, thank YOU for kicking me, punching me, and remaining active throughout these past few days. It gave me confidence to know that you're a strong litle fighter in there!

the bubble has burst, if only a little bit.

well, i suppose everything couldn't be perfect the whole way through, God must think I'm too strong of a woman to waste an easy, carefree pregnancy on...

today I arrived at the doctor, gave my usual urine sample, and was told that my protein levels were high for the 2nd time in a row. They immediately sent me upstairs to the lab to complete a lengthy series of tests, if only for a precaution, they say.

High protein levels, combined with other symptoms (some I have just barely, like swelling of the hands/feet, some not at all, like high blood pressure) could be a sign of preeclampsia, which is also known as toxemia. It's a danger to both the mom and baby. Worst case scenarios include stroke, kidney failure, and loss of life to mom and baby.

Mild cases usually result in just being a bit more cautious, monitoring with more frequest doctors visits, and getting to the 36 week mark and then letting doc decide when it's time to move.

I have a level 3 ultrasound tomorrow, and begin the exciting process(!) of collecting all of my urine over the next 24 hours for testing. More concrete information will come once all of the results are in and the doc has reviewed and made a prognosis.

If you are the praying type, pray. If you are the 'sending out cosmic vibes' type, do so. If you are the crossing fingers type, I'll take that too.

Really trying not to be overdramatic. 90% of me knows that this should be ok. 10% of me can't stop thinking about it.

28 weeks

Act 3...(I thought I'd never get here)

Well, I've finally arrived at the 3rd trimester, and let me tell you- for those women who told me that their second pregnancy has "flown by", I can't say that's been my experience. These past few weeks are starting to pick up, but I think I'm just impatient and want to hold and kiss my little baby girl SO bad. It's unreal.

Ginger is starting to understand the concept of baby in the belly, now that I'm getting bigger. She likes to give baby kisses, and the other day when I asked her what we should name the baby, she said "sister". Well, that makes sense!

Which brings me to the naming topic- we are STILL going back and forth with a few names. It's definitely MUCH more difficult with baby girl #2 than with Ginger. I think the moment we found out G was a girl, we were sold on the name. But this time, there are more layers of complexity in choosing a name. We have a few we go back and forth with, but I seriously doubt that we'll make a decision anytime soon. Another big difference from last time.

bb #2 is enjoying a lot of kung fu in my belly these days. I don't mind it one bit, though it catches me off guard a majority of the time. She's a strong little one, preferring her arm at the top right of my belly, and her foot at the bottom left (almost feels diagonal at times). Who knows, maybe she's doing summersaults, all I know is how happy I am to place my hand where she's kicking to hopefully transmit a bit of love through the belly.

I have had a crazy obsession with cheese popcorn this pregnancy, especially in the past two months. And I've had an aversion to chain fast food (other than maybe Chick-fil-A) which is totally different than with Ginger. I've also come to love drumstick ice cream cones (no nuts) and have one almost every night. The upside of being pregnant :)

With only 12 weeks to go, I realize I am behind, big time. We still haven't moved the house around, though I figure there's no rush when we're going to have Ginger continue to use her crib/nursery for at least the first 6-8 weeks of bb#2's life. It's not as easy to be "set" as last time around- by this point I had literally everything in place. Crib, furniture, bedding, everything decorated just the way that I dreamed. The good news is I'm not really stressing about it. That's probably what I enjoy the most about this 2nd pregnancy, the fact that I've known what to expect (well to a certain extent) and that's good for me. The drama of the 1st time around is curbed a bit. But I still worry, and just want to know the baby is healthy and home and we can start our new beginning as a family of 4.

People have asked me whether we'll keep trying for a boy. For now, I say "we'll see". Both Paul and I could really end up feeling fulfilled with two girls, and while we always thought we'd have a brewd of boys running around here, we're kind of taking to the idea of a pair of sisters to raise. Girls truly do melt your hearts, and I was always fearful of having a little girl to raise, but I'm really enjoying it with Ginger. She is so thoughtful, sweet, and loving, and I just can't wait to see how she takes to being a big sister.

Enough for now, but sweet bb#2 I am SOOO ready for you! Can't wait to smell, kiss, snuggle, and love on you!

if only my eyes were a video camera...

I'm sure all moms, once in awhile, see their child do something that will forever be implanted in their "mommy memory". Well, it happened today. Ginger and I have had a few days to ourselves, as Paul is on a weekend vacation up to Northern California to visit his friend Jeff. Today, I decided to take Ginger out to breakfast, and then to the park for some mommy and me time. We had the entire park to ourselves for about 20 minutes, and as usual I overdid it chasing her, going down slides, swinging, etc. I still forget sometimes that I'm 6 months pregnant, if that's possible! My sore back and feet are killing me!

Anyhow, a Dad brought his little girl to the park and she looked to be about Ginger's age, maybe older on first glance. The park we go to is big, but they made it over towards the structure we were playing on, and here's where the memory begins. Ginger RUNS over to this little girl, who is a complete stranger, and throws her arms around her, giving her a big hug. She says "com'on", and waves for her to come join us. Where did that come from?!?! Ginger is a friendly little girl, but that was too much. So the little girl comes running over with Ginger, her Dad not too far behind. We say hi, both of us clearly touched by Ginger's action. the girls played together for a minute, and Ginger said "hi!", squeezed her hand, and smiled while saying "sit" (we were under a big structure that had a little built in picnic table where Ginger and I had been playing). The girl comes and sits, and the Dad asks how old Ginger is, I said 19 months, and asked how old his daughter was, he said 21 months. He was trying to get his girl to talk to Ginger, who was just chatting away with her, but the little girl didn't have the speech skills, from what I could tell. She was adorable, just a bit more shy. And there's my Ginger, just jibber-jabbering away, trying to get her to interact verbally. Seriously proud mommy moment, especially because I could tell, for once, that Ginger has my "gift" (if that's what I'd call it) for communication. We've seen her display more of Paul's skills (art, especially) so this was such an important memory for me! The Dad tells us, "her name is Adrianna" an Ginger says "hi Anna, me gin-ger" and pats her chest indicating "gin-ger" was her name. My jaw, as well as the other Dad's, was literally on the floor!

It could have been from the big breakfast with maple syrup that sugared Ginger up into this gabby little 19 month old, but I will never, ever forget how much pride I felt for her this morning.

STILL asleep....

So, yeah, we've determined that Ginger is unique in many ways, but this one tops it off. At 9:30am on this beautiful Saturday morning, our little girl is still in bed, presumably asleep. What 20 month old sleeps in like this? I've been tempted over the last hour to go in there and get her up like I usually have to do, but at this point I almost want to see how long it will go. Paul and I usually can't sleep past around 8:30 or so anymore, so we've been up and going, just waiting for our daughter to make her appearance. This continues to make me laugh, but still gives me pause even though the doctor has said everything is fine, she just likes her bed, and her sleep. The only idea I can muster is that she may wake in the early morning and play with her baby doll that she sleeps with, or something. Because otherwise she is going to be one challenging teenager to get to wake up for school!

What a difference a year makes...

I didn't realize it when snapping a quick photo of Ginger at Costco today, but the pic on the left was taken on the exact same day last year, 8/15. What a difference a year makes!

Proud mommy moment...

On the way home from daycare this afternoon, as always I asked Ginger about her day ("How was your day"? "Good", "What did you do?" "ou-sid" (played outside) "What else?" "color"..) I think we have this same conversation every day, so it kind of is our special thing...well today, as usual, I asked her if she wanted to sing a song, which she replied (as typical) "♪la♪la♪la♪la♪la♪". Again, we go through this every day, nothing special or "new" news to report.

However, just for fun, I thought it would be fun to say letters to Ginger, and see if she would repeat them. I had no inclination that she would even pay attention, as this was not part of our typical conversation. So i assumed this might take awhile to integrate.

Well, SO not true! I say "A", she repeats it...clearly. Then "B", again, clear as night, repeats it. We go through "C", "D", "E", and then she stumbles on "F". But this was not just the sound. It was crystal clear letter formations coming out of her mouth.

Of course, my jaw was dropped to the floor. I know everyone thinks their child is intelligent, but at this moment I though she was pure genius. I was so proud that she was this far, not having had worked on it with her. I will be sure to ask Maureen tomorrow if she's started to introduce letters, but for now, I'm just reveling in the moment. :)