Tomorrow...

is my last day as a full time stay-at-home mommy with Ginger. The guilt has officially set in, and it's not pretty. This is not going to be one of those "look on the bright side" posts, I can't muster feeling anything but incredibly sad that I will not get to see Ginger's smiles and hear her giggles at my leisure. I am miserable that I won't be here every moment of the day. I remember telling other people that I'd never make a good stay-at-home mom, in fact even when I was pregnant I thought that I would savor the moment of returning to work. Not a chance. I'm sure I'll transition, it'll be hard, but I'm just not even willing or prepared to deal with that right now. For now, I'm just sad.

Back to work...

...and I have mixed emotions, to say the least. I have been overwhelmed with joy that I have had 7 1/2 months at home with Ginger, it has been such a bonding experience for her and I, and I can't even imagine what it would have been like to return to work like most, after only 3 short months. I have seen her grow right before my eyes, and despite fussy moments here and there, I wouldn't trade it for the world. But, we are dependent on my salary to maintain our household. So, I return to work on August 31st, and despite an awesome new job where I'll be able to work from home, a big part of me is still sad that we are in the position that I have to return to work.

When I was layed off from the County, I remember calling Paul, then my mom and bursting into tears telling them the news. I thought my (our) life was turned upside down, I walked away from a great job at Starbucks, for one that on day 2 (!!) was a mistake. I was accustomed to having a flexible schedule, working from home or the office at my leisure, and working along side a group of talented, bright, genuine professionals. When I started my County job, I quickly realized that me being hired to bring "progessive HR strategy" was futile among the red tape, state order, and to be frank, a lot of people who didn't seem to give a damn. I knew that I had made a mistake. But I powered through, was successful in driving a cost-laden ATS (applicant tracking system) nightmare into the ground, saving the County almost $400,000. In just 5 months.

But when it came time for me to take my maternity leave, which was negotiated in advance, I was met with the news that I would not have a job to come back to. At the time, I couldn't see the blessing that this was. But now, looking back, I thank God that my path was led in this direction.

Back on topic, I now have a fantastic opportunity with a lot of people who seem to be very similar to those I've worked with at Starbucks, bright, progressive, and decisive coworkers. And I'm happy for that. But in all reality, I am already anxious about the first few weeks and how I will probably be gloomy knowing that I will not get to spend so much time with Ginger. The good news is that for the first 6-8 weeks, our next door neighbor will watch her while I work from home, and I can go over anytime to nurse her, play with her, and she will come back to our house around 2:30pm for her afternoon nap. So it will only really be from about 8:30-2:30pm. But still, those playtimes before and after her morning nap have been so fun for the both of us. We've taken off and run errands together, gone to the park and shopping together, and met Paul for lunch together weekly.

My hope is that once my job transitions past the new stage, I will be able to work out flexing my schedule to do things early in the morning, while Ginger is napping, and later at night so I can still spend time with her daily. This is going to be quite a transition in our lives. More to come...

Girls' Lunch

I remember sitting in Nordstrom's Cafe, almost 9 months pregnant, and watching other moms with strollers, diaper bags, shopping bags, and babies in tow. Part of me was frightened beyond belief, but another part of me was so excited for the day that I would be sitting and eating with my baby girl.

Today, when Ginger woke up from her morning nap, I decided it was going to be today that we took our first real "girls lunch" to the Cafe, and we had a blast. Two older ladies were sitting a few tables over, and one of the ladies came up towards the end of our lunch and commented on how cute Ginger is, how well behaved she is, and how great she was while I was feeding her the plum puree I brought along with us. I have to admit- it was just as I'd imagined it, even better really, and I believe that this will be our little tradition together in the future!

Taking the elevator up to the 3rd floor!


Lots of people in the Cafe today...


Mommy and Ginger enjoying lunch!


Snuggles at the end of lunch...

New stuff...

We rarely have to buy much for Ginger, as we got a ton of gifts from our baby showers, as well as great friends who have handed down toys, jumpers, clothes, you name it (most stuff is really barely used!!). Once in awhile, I still like to go out and get Ginger new stuff, it's fun and I really can't help it sometimes.

Here are a few "new things" that Ginger has taken a liking to recently!

Sure, it never snows in California, but we are ready if it does! This is supposed to fit her until 12 months, we'll see!




These were actually given to us, and I didn't know if Ginger would like them or not. It's a mesh netting that holds frozen fruit/vegatables in it, and it's supposed to teach them how to eat, as well as be a good thing for teething. I give Ginger 1/2 an ice cube size portion of banana, and she goes to town on it!



I couldn't help it on this. I never, ever find stuff in the store that has Ginger's name on it, so the other day I was looking at a personalization website, and found this cute stepstool that you could have personalized. It also doubles as a puzzle, as the letters and flowers/butterfly are removable, so my thoughts are "It's educational!" LOL

6 month drs appt (almost a month late!)

Ginger's 2 month doctor's appointment was scheduled 2 weeks late because we were working through new insurance, and her 4 month appointment had to be scheduled no sooner than 2 months later, which pushed us out to being 3 weeks late for that. This 6 month appointment again had to be scheduled no sooner than 2 months later, and so we are now almost 4 weeks behind schedule. Gotta love stingy insurance plans that think about patients as a file number, and not a person. But that's a whole other story...

Today, we learned that Ginger is now 17.2 lbs (25-50 percentile), 28" tall/long (90-95 percentile), and head circumfrence is 45 cms (90-95 percentile). All of these are normal and are coming along to her growth all along, according to doc, so I'm happy to hear that!

Though our insurance has been a mess while I've been unemployed, what I can say is that our doctor's office has been really, really great. Today, the nurse came in and explained that although usually Ginger gets a total of 3 vacines (two 3-in-1's, and an oral), they were out of one of the 3-in-1 vaccines, meaning that we would need to give her 5 total instead of 3. She asked me if I wanted to come back at the end of the week, or just give Ginger the 5 today. I was hesistent but had already planned around Ginger's shots today, so sadly I told her "I guess we can give her the 5 shots". I wasn't excited about it, and the nurse could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy. So she said "let me go prepare the shots". When she came back in, she told me she went to the doctor's office next door and worked out borrowing one of their 3-in-1 vaccines, and she would repay them when they received their shipment by the end of the week. WHO does this anymore these days? This nurse is so sweet and loving with Ginger, and although no parent likes to see their child in pain, she does everything she can to deliver them gently and smoothly.

Here is a pic of Ginger post-shots, of course I've saved the bandaids of all her shots so far, and these are keepers too.


The expression here is priceless, you know she is thinking "mom took me to get shots today and all I got were these bandaids?!?"

Ginger's 6 month portraits

I've been horrible with keeping up the blog these days, what used to be daily posts are turning into weekly ones! Anyhow, here are several of the final portraits of Ginger at 6 months- we think they turned out fabulous! If you ever need a pregnancy or baby photographer (other than my fabulous friend Kymberli at www.webbedfootphotography.com of course) you should really look into Tina at Barefoot photography (www.tinadoane.com) She does amazing studio work!













I had to include what we call the "Diva" shot. :)