Answering the Question..."How Are You?"

(Precursor to this post- I am happy, well adjusted, and generally speaking choose not to complain about how I'm feeling during this pregnancy, as it is a blessing to be pregnant with a healthy little girl and I know I'm not unique in experiencing many of the issues I discuss below)

I don't know whether it is a blessing or a curse to be asked how I am so often throughout my pregnancy. Of course, with acquaintences, or strangers, a simple and short response usually suffices, but I have to admit I've wanted to answer this question the following way more than once...

"Hey Wendy, look how cute you are! Ready to Pop! How are you?"

In my head:
Well, if you really want to know, I have had a migraine, sinus infection, and and sore throat for the past two weeks or so. I'm usually so tired that my mind doesn't work properly, so I often appear dazed and confused. My lips have been dry and chapped since 16 weeks, and my feet have been swollen since about that time as well. I can only wear flip flops nowadays, despite 40-50 degree weather. I have to roll around to get out of bed, or off the couch, and I am a definite waddler when I'm walking. Speaking of which, that swelling in my ankles that I refer to has now progressed up my calves and thighs. I straighten my hair about 2-3x a week, if I can muster it, but other than that, you'll see those ugly not-quite-curls but not-quite-waves. I can't sleep at night, but have a hard time staying awake during the day. I can't take any meds for my whole sinus-throat problem, so I'm generally stuffy and blowing my nose during the day, to boot. I have gained more weight than I would have liked, and no, it's not "all belly" like those skinny girls. It's more like "all chin" to me, coupled with "all arms", "all ass", and "all everywhere else" including belly. I've had especially tough heartburn in this third trimester, causing TUMS to become ineffective, and now moving straight into twice daily doses of Pepsid (normal strength, cause us prego women can't take extra strength). I can't eat after about 8:30pm, making those late night cravings especially tough to get over when you have insomnia. But, otherwise, I'm doing just fine. How are you doing?

What I end up saying:
I'm doing great! Other than some minor swelling in my feet, all is well. I can't complain.

So, just in case you hear the 2nd version, you may want to know that the 1st version is probably a little bit more truthful, but for some reason, no one really likes to hear the truth from us crazy pregnant ladies!