Tomorrow...

is my last day as a full time stay-at-home mommy with Ginger. The guilt has officially set in, and it's not pretty. This is not going to be one of those "look on the bright side" posts, I can't muster feeling anything but incredibly sad that I will not get to see Ginger's smiles and hear her giggles at my leisure. I am miserable that I won't be here every moment of the day. I remember telling other people that I'd never make a good stay-at-home mom, in fact even when I was pregnant I thought that I would savor the moment of returning to work. Not a chance. I'm sure I'll transition, it'll be hard, but I'm just not even willing or prepared to deal with that right now. For now, I'm just sad.

Back to work...

...and I have mixed emotions, to say the least. I have been overwhelmed with joy that I have had 7 1/2 months at home with Ginger, it has been such a bonding experience for her and I, and I can't even imagine what it would have been like to return to work like most, after only 3 short months. I have seen her grow right before my eyes, and despite fussy moments here and there, I wouldn't trade it for the world. But, we are dependent on my salary to maintain our household. So, I return to work on August 31st, and despite an awesome new job where I'll be able to work from home, a big part of me is still sad that we are in the position that I have to return to work.

When I was layed off from the County, I remember calling Paul, then my mom and bursting into tears telling them the news. I thought my (our) life was turned upside down, I walked away from a great job at Starbucks, for one that on day 2 (!!) was a mistake. I was accustomed to having a flexible schedule, working from home or the office at my leisure, and working along side a group of talented, bright, genuine professionals. When I started my County job, I quickly realized that me being hired to bring "progessive HR strategy" was futile among the red tape, state order, and to be frank, a lot of people who didn't seem to give a damn. I knew that I had made a mistake. But I powered through, was successful in driving a cost-laden ATS (applicant tracking system) nightmare into the ground, saving the County almost $400,000. In just 5 months.

But when it came time for me to take my maternity leave, which was negotiated in advance, I was met with the news that I would not have a job to come back to. At the time, I couldn't see the blessing that this was. But now, looking back, I thank God that my path was led in this direction.

Back on topic, I now have a fantastic opportunity with a lot of people who seem to be very similar to those I've worked with at Starbucks, bright, progressive, and decisive coworkers. And I'm happy for that. But in all reality, I am already anxious about the first few weeks and how I will probably be gloomy knowing that I will not get to spend so much time with Ginger. The good news is that for the first 6-8 weeks, our next door neighbor will watch her while I work from home, and I can go over anytime to nurse her, play with her, and she will come back to our house around 2:30pm for her afternoon nap. So it will only really be from about 8:30-2:30pm. But still, those playtimes before and after her morning nap have been so fun for the both of us. We've taken off and run errands together, gone to the park and shopping together, and met Paul for lunch together weekly.

My hope is that once my job transitions past the new stage, I will be able to work out flexing my schedule to do things early in the morning, while Ginger is napping, and later at night so I can still spend time with her daily. This is going to be quite a transition in our lives. More to come...

Girls' Lunch

I remember sitting in Nordstrom's Cafe, almost 9 months pregnant, and watching other moms with strollers, diaper bags, shopping bags, and babies in tow. Part of me was frightened beyond belief, but another part of me was so excited for the day that I would be sitting and eating with my baby girl.

Today, when Ginger woke up from her morning nap, I decided it was going to be today that we took our first real "girls lunch" to the Cafe, and we had a blast. Two older ladies were sitting a few tables over, and one of the ladies came up towards the end of our lunch and commented on how cute Ginger is, how well behaved she is, and how great she was while I was feeding her the plum puree I brought along with us. I have to admit- it was just as I'd imagined it, even better really, and I believe that this will be our little tradition together in the future!

Taking the elevator up to the 3rd floor!


Lots of people in the Cafe today...


Mommy and Ginger enjoying lunch!


Snuggles at the end of lunch...

New stuff...

We rarely have to buy much for Ginger, as we got a ton of gifts from our baby showers, as well as great friends who have handed down toys, jumpers, clothes, you name it (most stuff is really barely used!!). Once in awhile, I still like to go out and get Ginger new stuff, it's fun and I really can't help it sometimes.

Here are a few "new things" that Ginger has taken a liking to recently!

Sure, it never snows in California, but we are ready if it does! This is supposed to fit her until 12 months, we'll see!




These were actually given to us, and I didn't know if Ginger would like them or not. It's a mesh netting that holds frozen fruit/vegatables in it, and it's supposed to teach them how to eat, as well as be a good thing for teething. I give Ginger 1/2 an ice cube size portion of banana, and she goes to town on it!



I couldn't help it on this. I never, ever find stuff in the store that has Ginger's name on it, so the other day I was looking at a personalization website, and found this cute stepstool that you could have personalized. It also doubles as a puzzle, as the letters and flowers/butterfly are removable, so my thoughts are "It's educational!" LOL

6 month drs appt (almost a month late!)

Ginger's 2 month doctor's appointment was scheduled 2 weeks late because we were working through new insurance, and her 4 month appointment had to be scheduled no sooner than 2 months later, which pushed us out to being 3 weeks late for that. This 6 month appointment again had to be scheduled no sooner than 2 months later, and so we are now almost 4 weeks behind schedule. Gotta love stingy insurance plans that think about patients as a file number, and not a person. But that's a whole other story...

Today, we learned that Ginger is now 17.2 lbs (25-50 percentile), 28" tall/long (90-95 percentile), and head circumfrence is 45 cms (90-95 percentile). All of these are normal and are coming along to her growth all along, according to doc, so I'm happy to hear that!

Though our insurance has been a mess while I've been unemployed, what I can say is that our doctor's office has been really, really great. Today, the nurse came in and explained that although usually Ginger gets a total of 3 vacines (two 3-in-1's, and an oral), they were out of one of the 3-in-1 vaccines, meaning that we would need to give her 5 total instead of 3. She asked me if I wanted to come back at the end of the week, or just give Ginger the 5 today. I was hesistent but had already planned around Ginger's shots today, so sadly I told her "I guess we can give her the 5 shots". I wasn't excited about it, and the nurse could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't happy. So she said "let me go prepare the shots". When she came back in, she told me she went to the doctor's office next door and worked out borrowing one of their 3-in-1 vaccines, and she would repay them when they received their shipment by the end of the week. WHO does this anymore these days? This nurse is so sweet and loving with Ginger, and although no parent likes to see their child in pain, she does everything she can to deliver them gently and smoothly.

Here is a pic of Ginger post-shots, of course I've saved the bandaids of all her shots so far, and these are keepers too.


The expression here is priceless, you know she is thinking "mom took me to get shots today and all I got were these bandaids?!?"

Ginger's 6 month portraits

I've been horrible with keeping up the blog these days, what used to be daily posts are turning into weekly ones! Anyhow, here are several of the final portraits of Ginger at 6 months- we think they turned out fabulous! If you ever need a pregnancy or baby photographer (other than my fabulous friend Kymberli at www.webbedfootphotography.com of course) you should really look into Tina at Barefoot photography (www.tinadoane.com) She does amazing studio work!













I had to include what we call the "Diva" shot. :)

6 month photos- SNEAK PEEK!

We took Ginger last Saturday to take her 6 month photos, and here are two that our photographer gave us as a sneak peek. I was a little concerned about how these would come out, as I booked the session for 5pm, and Ginger is a little worn out by this time of day. So we didn't get as many smiles as we'd hoped for, and while trying to sit on her own, I looked away for a second and of course she feel straight back and bonked her head. So the rest of the session was a little teary, but of course it was mommy's fault!

Anyhow, I am SO happy with these two shots, I can't wait to see the rest!

Ginger's first trip to Palm Desert

It was 20 years ago, this year, that my Dad, Mom, Chris and I visited Palm Desert for the first time, in our (then) new villa at the Marriott Desert Springs. I was 10 years old, and still remember that first trip, and how it felt to be vacationing in HOT heat, LOTS of pools, and TONS of fun. Now 20 years later, it was Ginger's first trip to Palm Desert, and while I don't think she'll remember it, we experienced everything that I did on my first trip.

First, it was H-O-T! 118 degrees on the hottest day, and so that mean a lot of evening swims, and more time in the villa with my family. Julie, Sean, and their kids came out, and my nephews Zack and Josh came out from Texas as well. It was great to have the opportunity to spend a week with Ginger interacting with her cousins- we usually only get a day here, a day there, so she had a LOT of playtime with them, which was great.

Although a lot of people assume Ginger is a quiet, mellow baby, she definitely comes out of her shell after a few interactions and boy, was she vocal and playful on this trip. She is learning how to sit up independantly, and with the exception of a few bonks when she toppled over, I can officially say now that we are home that she is a "sitter". She also is now able to place almost all her weight on herself while standing (assisted still) but I'd like to think she learned these new skills by watching her cousins sit and stand with/around her during this week.

She went with us to a fancy restaurant (Lakeview, at the Marriott Hotel across the golf course) and was a perfect, well mannered baby. She ate (pureed bananas), drank (water from a sippy cup) and giggled and laughed at the adults, and baby at the next table (who brings babies to fancy restaurants?!? I know, I know, but it was a special occasion).

All in all, we had a great time, and although Paul could attend with us because of work, I was so thrilled that Ginger is now part of our annual tradition of the Palm Desert vacation!

The small things...

I always worry that by the time our family expands and grows older, I will forget the small stuff that is so cute about my little girl. So I thought it made sense to blog about just a few little things that I don't ever want to forget.

*I love the way Ginger falls asleep lately. I'm starting to put her down in bed not completely asleep, and so when I lay her down she turns to her side, grabs the blanket I lay over just her feet, and cuddles with it to comfort her to sleep.

*When she nurses, she is SOOO active lately. Her legs are usually up in the air, her hands playing with her toes, she hums while she's chomping away, and when I lift her up she now burps on her own, and thinks it's hilarious (sometimes we'll play the burp game where I make a sound that mimics a burp, then she'll follow up with a real one and she's so proud of herself she grins ear to ear)

*She has started to capitalize on her fake cough and use it strategically. At first when she started, Paul and I thought it was cute and we would do a little fake cough back at her, and all of us would giggle. Well, that was the WRONG idea because now she fake coughs all the time (just a little tiny huh-huh) and waits for us to play back with her. Sneaky little one :)

*She now knows the word "kiss" and will slober on your cheek when presented to her. It's still open mouthed, but we play the kiss game back and forth and she loves to give kisses. I'm hoping she'll start closing her mouth soon!

*She also knows the word "ribbit" and associates it with her frog on her jumper. Which is interesting, because her sign language DVD is teaching her frog both verbally and in sign, but when I use that word she won't look at/point to/reach over to the frog. But when I say "ribbit, ribbit" she goes right for the frog. Maybe the word ribbit just sounds more fun, who knows!?!

*She spits up. A lot. I think more than others, though the doctor says it's not reflux. She likes hanging out on her tummy, and when I put her down on her back, she flips right over on her tummy, which often time forces a little spit up back out onto her play blanket. I never go anywhere without a burp rag, and I swear it seems like more than other babies I know!

*I've found her more than a few times lately napping with one arm resting up on her bumper. It doesn't seem to bother her, but gosh it looks uncomfortable to have one arm practically in the air while sleeping.

*She no longer likes to snuggle in tight on the shoulder unless she is realllly sleepy. Most times she uses her arm to push off our chest and look around at the world. She'll rest her hand on my chest to stabalize herself, put she is interested in the world around her very much. I talk to her often as we're doing things, whether making coffee, picking up around the house, or walking from one room to another.

*This girl is OVER diaper changing, it requires too much stillness for her! She wants to roll and flip and do anything other than sit still and let me position the diaper. I hate to admit it, but when she does flip her little bum is soooo cute that I just stare at it and smile for a moment before I flip her back over.

That's all for now- just wanted to get it down on the blog before she wakes up from her nap- 2 hours and counting, I am blessed!!

Ginger's Dedication

I think I might possibly have the most wonderful child in the world. I know parents always say this about their kids, but Ginger was a CHAMP yesterday for the entire day and I just can't believe how blessed we are.

We arrived at the church just a few minutes before the service, which was technically 5 minutes late, but I was just happy that we made it showered, dressed, and ready to go. Ginger LOVES the first part of church service, because we go to a church that is contemporary and plays worship songs with a full band, lights, and great music. So she is usually thrilled to hear the music and dance along. Then came baptisms, which as part of our faith is a conscience choice you make, so babies aren't baptized- rather they are dedicated to the church by the parents, who commit to raise their child to love and know God. Anyhow, after about 5 baptisms, the pastor came to the front and invited Paul, Ginger and I (and godparents Shanna and Randy) to come on stage. Ginger was handed over to the pastor, and he held her up to the congregation (probably at least 500-600 people) who ooohed and awwed at how beautiful she was. Pastor even commented that she was gorgeous and how lucky he was to get to dedicate her. He spoke to us about how excited he was that we were committing to raising Ginger as a Christian, and then said the most perfect prayer for her. As we were praying I was tearing up with joy, so happy that my little girl was getting to experience this. She was an absolute doll- no fussing, no crying, just curiously staring at the congregation and pastor, it was so fantastic to watch. We were seated again, and Opa took Ginger into the family room to play with her while watching the sermon through clear glass doors. Apparently they had a blast together- my Dad found a plastic cup that cracked and crinkled when he squeezed it, and that's all he needed to keep her entertained.

After church, we took a few pics, and then came back to our house for a bbq celebration. A few friends came over, but it was mostly family...

Oh my gosh, I forgot to write about the BEST part of the morning!! So when we get to church a few minutes early, my whole family was already there standing around the area roped off for the dedication family, and I look over my shoulder and see....my big brother Mike. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this because I love him SO much, and after he and his family moved to Texas 3 years ago, I've missed them all SOOO much. Mike and I have a special relationship and are a LOT alike in many ways. It was a COMPLETE shock and so unexpected, I started crying when I saw him! I wanted to stop time and just hang out with him for a whole day but the show had to go on!

Anyhow, so he was at the BBQ along with the rest of my family, and Ginger got to play with her bestest friend Ryen, who is 3 months older than her and always teaches her a new trick. This visit, Ryen was crawling and standing with the support of the coffee table, and of course Ginger watched her in awe. Later that night, Ginger was rolling all over the living room and pushing up with her arms, trying to figure out to get her legs to move. She was FULL of laughter throughout the BBQ, squeeling and laughing while playing with her cousins and auntie/uncles.

The BBQ came to a close like a whirlwind- we turned around and it was already time for people to leave. I wished again that we could have just stopped time and enjoyed the company longer, but Ginger was pooped and others had a long trip home. It was the most amazing day, and I'll never forget it. My girl is now a child of God, and that makes her mommy so happy! :)

Here are a ton of pics from the day!